ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
