i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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