Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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