I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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