so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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