So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
