She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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