Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it was like eating out sand paper
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
