Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
