Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
