So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
