just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
