I have demons in me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
