i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
