if i can run in heels then i can drive
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize