Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
