Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
