She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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