Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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