Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
