Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
