Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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