You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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