We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
