Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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