Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
