I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
