u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
