he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
