Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
