i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
