i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
