so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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