Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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