i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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