Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
