so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
