They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize