Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
