Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
