ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
