Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
