Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
