please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
