I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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