It's Friday. Sex?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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