Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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