in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
