as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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