By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
