did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
