Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
