he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
