so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
