It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
