How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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