Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
