Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
