i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
