I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
