The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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