She announced her abortion via fbk
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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