I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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