it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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